By Wambui Mbuthi 19th August 2025 Homeluxlifestyle
So, Beyoncé’s popping by.
Maybe she texted. Maybe it was a vision in a dream. Maybe you just want to live like you're worthy of a Queen Bey drop-in.
Either way—your house needs to be prepped like a Grammy-winning, lemon-squeezing, Virgo perfectionist is walking through that door.
Let’s begin.
1. Deep Clean Like You're Trying to Impress NASA
If it has a surface, scrub it.
If it has a corner, disinfect it.
If it hasn’t seen light since Uhuru’s first term, bleach it.
Tip:
Use a toothbrush to clean grout, baseboards, and your soul.
Because Beyoncé doesn't walk on sticky floors. She glides.
2. Hide the Clutter Like It's a Crime Scene
Got a junk drawer? Burn it.
Have a “miscellaneous” closet? Lock it and throw away the key.
That pile of laundry? Suddenly it's modern art.
Bonus tip:
Put your “emotional support clutter” in an ottoman. No one questions a chic ottoman.
3. Create a Vibe Beyoncé Would Approve
- Scented candles (but make them smell like heaven and tax brackets).
- Mood lighting (no overhead lighting—are you a villain?).
- Curated playlist (Renaissance. On loop. Obviously).
If your space doesn’t feel like a minimalist Parisian spa with just a whiff of jungle energy, try again.
4. Rotate Your Art Like You're a Private Gallery in the Louvre
That Bob Marley poster from college? Hide it.
The family photo where everyone blinked? Retire it.
Replace with:
- Abstracts you pretend to understand
- Black & white photography of stairs or leaves
- Anything that says “I drink expensive wine and have opinions on upholstery”
5. Stage Your Fridge
If she opens it (she won’t—but what if?), it better not look like a chaotic casserole graveyard.
Inside should be:
- Glass containers with mysterious-but-pretty chia puddings
- At least one green juice (even if it’s just Sprite dyed with spinach)
- An aesthetic bottle of sparkling water that says “I hydrate with intention”
6. Make Your Bed Like a Hotel for Billionaires
Crisp white sheets. At least 5 pillows. Folded throw blanket.
Spritz with a little linen spray and lie about how you wake up at 5 a.m. to journal.
Optional:
Place a single rose on the pillow and whisper, “For you, Bey.”
7. Add Subtle Flexes Everywhere
- Strategically leave out a book on feminist economic theory
- Have a foreign fashion magazine open (Italian Vogue works, IKEA catalog does not)
- Place one (1) luxurious hand cream where people can see it
Because Beyoncé notices the details. And so will your cat.
8. Manifest Cleanliness, But Also... Beyoncé
Light a sage bundle.
Clear the energy.
Look at your reflection and say, “I am Beyoncé. I am the guest.”
Then vacuum. Again.
In Conclusion:
Beyoncé may never actually come over.
But the point is: you cleaned like royalty was en route. You elevated. You evolved.
And honestly? That’s the real Formation.